Always The Same
by Race122VE
Summary: ***Complete 8/9/10*** One night, one morning, two points of view. Brittany/Santana.
1. Chapter 1

_**Title:** Always The Same (1/3)  
**Author:** Race122VE (Coll)  
**Pairing:** Brittany/Santana  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** One night, one morning, two points of view.  
__**Word Count:** A little over 2400  
**Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.  
__**Author's Note:** No spoilers. I try to remain cannon to the story line, but this doesn't really get into the club or competitions, just mentions. This is my second attempt at this pairing. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!_

**Chapter 1 - Santana**

It happened the same way it always did.

Some random jock's parents were away for the weekend, he got his hands on a keg and some cheap liquor, and word spread like wildfire through the school's popular crowd.

So, like every other time, Santana showed up about an hour after the party was in full swing. Some would say she was late, Santana would argue that she works off of her own time and she was right on schedule. Someone, it could be a basketball player trying to get into her pants or a freshman Cheerio that sought her approval, would put a beer in her hand and she would finish it before making her way into the kitchen to start going through the liquor.

It was there that she would, usually, run into Matt, Mike, or Puck but things with Glee Club had kinda boiled over for the guys. She felt bad, but not enough to enjoy the benefits of being a girl and still being able to remain on the Cheerios. Coach Sylvester was making that increasingly difficult, however, but it was just another thing she shoved deep down and piled on top of all the other crap. She seemed to stumble upon a rare opportunity of having the "bar" completely at her disposal with the lack of the guys.

Looking over the selection, that's the best word she can think of to describe the cheapest vodka she's ever seen, a bottle of Jaeger, some tequila she never heard of, and some other fancy bottle that someone probably stole from their parents liquor cabinet, Santana doesn't find anything that she's craving and settles for refilling her cup with beer. About half way through, she looks up and can't help but smile. If she were being honest, there's only one thing that's on her mind and, as she looks through the open door out into the living room that's serving as the small dance floor, she spots what she really wants.

The same as all the other times.

It's not long before the blonde hair that's whipping back and forth lands sloppily over Brittany's face. She pushes it back with one hand and stops as her blue eyes lock with Santana's dark brown. A look that many have seen, but Santana pretends that there's something different about this particular look, flashes across the blonde's face. Her hand comes up and her finger points to Santana and curls it back towards her in an inviting fashion.

Her body begins moving forward before her mind can get over how breathtaking Brittany is when she's dancing. Santana likes to think she's in check, like she's got every single one of her thoughts and emotions under control. Because of that misplaced confidence she'll, more often than not, find herself seeking out the blonde during Glee or Cheerio's choreography. Some have wondered aloud or actually had the nerve to approach and ask before. Santana made sure that not only was there nothing going on, but that no one would ever come to her with that notion ever again.

Using whatever means necessary.

The music that had been thumping lowly in her head while in the kitchen began to deafeningly increase as she pushed into the crowd of drunk, sloppy dancers and into the arms of her best friend. Brittany's arms had wrapped around Santana's waist, eliminating all space in between while Santana brought her arms tightly around Brittany's neck. She could feel the blonde's smile against her cheek as they began to sway back and forth along with the music.

They break apart, but find small ways to hold on to each other as they dance. When a fast song comes on they'll hold hand and twirl each other around, but when something not exactly slow but not too fast comes on their hands hold on softly to their waists as they sway to the beat. They ignore the boys that come up behind them, or break into their routine because they didn't really matter. They liked watching two hot girls dance together and Santana felt like it was a small price to play to get to be this open in public with Brittany.

Depending on the songs on someone's playlist, this could go on for over an hour. Brittany never got tired of dancing and Santana never got tired of being around Brittany. When the dancing did stop, they'd make their way over to the drinks and throw back whatever was available. Along with being around them when they danced, guys often were around when they drank because, and some might find it hard to believe but Santana just chalks that up to stupidity, she can drink like a frat boy.

So, the idiot boys gather round, trying to drink her under the table or get her drunk enough to do something stupid or, even worse, try to get her to play Quarters or Asshole like she isn't a genius when it comes to drinking games just so they can gloat. Brittany would be around, backing up Santana and doing little cheers as she sipped on her beer and did the occasional shot of whatever was presented to her. Then, they would go back to dancing.

After anything they did, they would always go back to dancing.

The time always varied, but sooner or later Santana would take Brittany's hand and drag her away. Sometimes it would be the bathroom, usually it was outside or anywhere they could be alone, and then Santana would push Brittany up against a wall and attack her mouth using her own. The time varied on how much self control Santana could hold on to dancing up against the blonde, breathing in her scent, and the trail of fire Brittany's touch left.

Brittany never objected. Never questioned why here, now, or what brought this on. She just gave in. Clinging just as hungrily to Santana and not being able to get enough of the other girl. Things would always progress pretty quickly between them. Santana's hands always managed to make their way up Brittany's shirt while she broke free from the kiss and explored Santana's neck, licking and nibbling along the way.

Then, just when she thinks she can't take it anymore and wants to take the blonde then and there, she pulls away, links their fingers together, and drags Brittany out of the party. Lima is a small enough town where all the kids from high school generally live in the same area, so they walk to whoever's house is available. This time, it's Santana's home that's available for the night.

They take their time walking, despite the heat and passion that had been building up between them moments before, hands swinging back and forth and small smiles plastered on their faces as they enjoy being close to each other. Once they're in the house, they waste no time in getting to Santana's room. It's dark because she forgets to leave the light on, but there's a small glow from a streetlight outside her window that is perfectly locked on Brittany as she walks through the door and immediately removes the tank top that was clinging to her body.

Santana closes the door and leans back against it, watching and waiting for Brittany to turn around and eliminate the space between them. She'll wait a while before she turns around and walks slowly towards Santana. It's a routine they've done time and time again, but she never tires of Brittany tugging off Santana's shirt and running her hands painfully slow up her torso to finally cup her face and pull her into a kiss. It's not as heated and urgent as before. They know they're alone, they know they have all night, and they plan to use every second of that time.

While Santana enjoys taking their time, she enjoys it better from her bed. They collapse, lips still firmly attached, and push themselves further on. Santana was on top, adjusting her weight when she broke free and gasped as Brittany suddenly hooked her leg around Santana's waist and flipped them over. She began to laugh and Brittany joined in as she settled herself above Santana and gazed down. Their eyes locked and the laughter died down.

Brittany would break eye contact first, but she wouldn't look further than her own fingers tracing the lines of Santana's face, admiring her beauty. Santana had to swallow the words "I love you" that would get stuck in her throat when this happened because, yeah, guys watched her and told her how hot she was but her best friend was different. With Brittany she knew she was beautiful. Her thumb came up and smoothed over Brittany's lower lip before traveling behind her neck and tugging her down into a kiss.

Santana's mouth was open and Brittany's tongue was welcomed warmly. They remained that way, kissing, Brittany pulling her closer, and Santana tangling her hands in Brittany's hair. Before she knew it, nimble fingers had made their way to Santana's jeans and unbuttoned them. That's when it would dawn on Santana, while both were half naked, it still wasn't enough. She rolled them over to their side so they could kick off their pants and remove all other pieces of clothing before kissing again.

Things got heated when their naked bodies pushed up against each other and the desire to be close over took any other thought in their minds. Santana found herself on her back again, Brittany's weight pressing down on top of her. Not long after, Brittany's hand forces itself between them. The rest is a passion filled haze. Moans fill the room, sweat glistens off their bodies, and Brittany presses a lingering kiss to Santana's lips once their bodies begin to relax.

Soft lips travel along a tanned jaw before moving down to her neck and settling there. Santana closes her eyes, every time, and tries to burn it into her memories: the weight of Brittany's body, settled comfortably on top of her own, the heat that warms her more than any other thing in the entire world, the feel of the hot breath on her neck, and the sounds that follow the breath, muffled by the lingering passion and ringing still pounding in her ear from the party. She's not sure how long they stay like this, but she knows it's not nearly long enough when Brittany shifts the majority of her body off Santana, allowing her to curl against her side.

She shivers involuntarily at the loss of heat, but turns slightly to the side as Brittany drapes an arm across her stomach and tangles their legs together. It's not as warm as it was, but the feel of how tightly Brittany clings to her makes up for it and Santana sighs as she brings her arms around and pulls the blonde closer to her body. Automatically, her hand moves and pushes the mess of blonde hair off her body and away from Brittany's face and smiles when she sees her eyes closed and a content look on her face.

This is the time that Santana longs for the most. Sure, Brittany's asleep, but it's not about Brittany. It's about being able to hold her and breathe her in and mumble sweet nothings as her lips graze the top of her head. It's about being able to do what she wants to do all the time, and not have to worry about a small town full of whispers and judgments.

So, she just laid there, enjoying the moment and the feel and everything about it. She had the time too because it always took Santana a long time to fall asleep. She never knew where it stemmed from, just that every time she laid down and stared up at her ceiling it was an hour or so before she could actually close her eyes. Normally, Santana hated this.

Except on these nights when she, eventually, gets to fall asleep holding Brittany close to her. Normally, she begs for sleep to come. These nights, she fights it off with everything she has. The alcohol doesn't help, and the general exhaustion of her life joins the fight and eventually she falls asleep. Not before managing to whisper, so low that she's almost certain it's a thought and not something she actually says, "I love you."

Then everything goes dark.

**xxxxx**

People dream.

Santana's a person, so she knows she dreams. She just never remembers. Even when reflecting on nights like these, when she gets to fall asleep and wake up with Brittany, she'll close her eyes and then open them and it'll be morning. Rarely, there's an instance where she knows that she just had a dream about something, but it just becomes this nag in the back of her mind that she knows she'll never remember.

One time, she tried explaining it to Brittany. The blonde knew what she meant, said it happened to her sometimes but couldn't understand how it happened to Santana all the time. She would frown, and Santana's body would tense as her brain tried to work its way into thinking of how to stop Brittany from pouting.

It shows all over Santana's face, and Brittany brings her hands up to clutch softly at her cheeks. "I just don't like the idea that you're missing out, cause dreams are amazing, S," she says quietly, surely, and with a small smile to tell her that everything is OK. "Besides…if you don't dream, then you don't have nightmares."

That's what Santana chalks the next moments up to: a nightmare.

It was always the same. Santana would wake up and still be able to feel Brittany pressed up against her side, and then she would get creative and find fun ways to wake her up. This morning, when her eyes opened after she felt like she just closed them, she was cold. A shiver worked its way through her body and then she heard a small rustle from her window.

Brittany was perched on it, legs drawn up to her chest and her arms hugging them in place. She was looking over as the light breeze from the window wafted through her hair. Santana lifted herself up on her elbows, her face scrunched up in question.

"Britt-" she managed to get out before the blonde cut her off with a statement that had convinced her that she was in a night mare.

"I don't wanna do this anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Title:**__ Always The Same (2/3)  
__**Author:**__ Race122VE (Coll)  
__**Pairing:**__ Brittany/Santana  
__**Rating:**__ PG-13  
__**Summary:**__ One night, one morning, two points of view.  
__**Word Count:**__ A little over 3700  
__**Disclaimer:**__ All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.  
__**Author's Note:**__ No spoilers. I try to remain cannon to the story line, but this doesn't really get into the club or competitions, just mentions. This is my second attempt at this pairing. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!  
__**Author's Note:**__ OK, so, thanks for all the amazing comments. The fic is angst-y but I like happy endings so keep with me. Also, I struggled with this kind of in the middle and with Brittany's POV in general, but then it got easy and long so I kind of feel bad to give her more words than Santana's POV but I'm hoping the third, and final part, is gonna be longer than this and go into both their heads so…end of ramble! OK, thanks again for reading, I hope you let me know what you think!_

**Chapter 2 – Brittany**

It happened the same way it always did.

Brittany had heard about the party and, well, of course Brittany would hear about the party. Even in the face of their involvement with Glee, Brittany was still one of the top Cheerios. She remained right at the top, right next to Santana. No one bothered them, no one gave her as much crap as the boys got. Not just Kurt, either. He may have always been a target cause he looks better in a corset than most of the girls in their school, but he was still a boy, just like Finn, Puck, Matt, and Mike. It seemed all they really had left was Glee. Brittany had options, and that was because of Santana.

So, at the end of the day, she would go home and dive right into the mix of her family. There was always something going on. Today, her sister's soccer team was over for a pizza party, or something. As Brittany entered her home, she gave the group a small smile and wave before heading straight to the kitchen to steal a couple of slices that would serve as her dinner. Plus, she wanted to avoid being in the same room with Wes Brody, at all costs.

There was still a lot of time left before the party. More time if she counted when Santana would actually show up, so she snuck upstairs with her pizza and tried to get some of her school work done. As soon as she cracked a book, however, she immediately grew bored and anxious. She'd instantly pop in her head phones, set her music on shuffle, then lounge around until it was time for her to start getting ready for the party.

She thought about breaking out her diary, updating it with the week's events, but as soon as the idea popped into her head her cat squeezed its way in through the small opening of her door. Brittany mentally cursed herself for not shutting it all the way when she came upstairs and tried not to think about it too much as her cat stared back at her. Instead she decided to just start getting ready early and take her time. She always opted for the least amount of clothes she could get away with. A lot of the people in town just figured she dressed slutty to make it easier to get guys. In a small town like Lima, she didn't need to dress slutty. Being a Cheerio and blonde was enough.

No, she would dress this way because she loved dancing and one of the only reasons she would go to these parties was to dance. Sometimes it would be hot, and she would get sweaty, so Brittany always opted for a simple tang top and jeans. Nothing too constricting, but still able to show off her body. She put so much consideration in this because she loved dancing, she always had, but what she loved more was getting to dance with Santana. A smile played at her lips as she stood in front of her closet, looking at all the different choices, and thought about what she was going to wear. That, and her best friend.

The noise from downstairs starts to overpower her music and she lets out a heavy sigh. Brittany hadn't planned on leaving for another half hour, but she was ready and she managed to get out with a "Don't wait up" directed towards her parents before the cool air rushed all around her. A small shiver worked its way through her body. She never worried, though, never thought to wear something with sleeves, cause she knew the next time she'd be outside she'd be surrounded by warmth.

The party was pretty crowded by the time she showed up. Brittany kinda understood why Santana would show up late. She wanted to make sure the party was packed, but it already was and Brittany knew she'd have to occupy herself for the next twenty minutes or so before she'd even think about looking through the crowd for a glimmer of deep, piercing brown eyes. For now, she'd mingle with the freshman have a beer, and wait for the right song to come on.

It always happened the same way.

No matter whose music, no matter what playlist, one song would come on and Brittany wouldn't be able to help the way her body reacts to the music. Tonight, someone had this great playlist of these mashed up songs. It reminded her of Glee and she had a smile plastered on her face as she dived into the crowd of drunken, sloppy dancers. The group maybe big, but everyone knew to give her just enough room to execute some of her better moves.

Brittany, however, didn't mind the crowd. She had gotten a slight buzz off her couple drinks, she was a light weight like that, but mostly she loved being a part of this kind of group that just focused on being close and moving together to the same music. It didn't even matter what song came on next, or if it shifted to something a little slower, she wasn't even really listening to the song just letting her body sway.

While she was a light weight, she also lost the hazy part of the buzz while dancing. So by the time a new song had bled into the previous she was sober, but pumped from the dancing. Brittany was whipping her hair around when she felt it. It was that feeling you got when someone was watching you, but not just anyone. No, cause there was people all over the party that were watching her. This time, like all the others, the pair of eyes that were watching her belonged to Santana.

She pushed her hair out of her face, imagining briefly how big of mess it probably was, as she looked through an open doorway and saw the other girl flat out staring at her. Every time Brittany sees Santana, her face breaks out into this huge grin. Except at times like these. She knows what Santana is thinking, and she knows what's going on in her own mind. So, she just throws those thoughts out with her eyes while physically pointing out and beckoning Santana over.

They pull each other close automatically. Only when all space is eliminated, when Brittany has wrapped her arms tightly around Santana's waist, when she feels the other girl squeeze back, that's when Brittany smiles. Her eyes close, and it's like everybody else is gone. Instinctively, she buries her face in Santana's neck as the music starts to pound in her head and reminds her that they're in the middle of the dance floor.

Before they break apart, Brittany starts to sway their bodies back and forth, giving Santana one more squeeze before stepping back. She sees the gloss over the dark eyes and smirks as she grabs Santana's hand and twirls her around to the music. They both laugh, having way too much fun being close and moving around, not really caring about the large group of people surrounding them. The genuine smile that reaches all the way up to Santana's eyes, whether they are hooded with desire or not, tells Brittany just how much she loves this. Brittany feels the same way, this is one of her favorite things about being so close with Santana, but she also loves it for a whole other reason.

At these parties, every time they danced together, Brittany got to take the lead.

Brittany generally understood how things worked in high school. She had a problem with the filter between her brain and her mouth. She even had a problem understanding that there wasn't an actual filter somewhere in her head, which is why when Santana told her early on that she had to stick close to her she didn't even think to question the request. She was a follower and, because she hadn't really been anything else, she was OK with that.

Dancing was a different story.

Soon after joining the Cheerios, it was obvious she was the best dancer on the team. Brittany couldn't memorize her times tables, but any choreography someone would show her would stick automatically. That, naturally, led to Brittany coming up with her own dances which got a lot more useful once they joined Glee. Even if the original intention was to destroy the club, Brittany was so happy that she was able to coexist in both and get to do what she loved more often than not.

Plus, it was more time to spend with Santana.

A new song blended into the next, this one with a slower beat. Brittany's hands settled on Santana's waist, pulling her forward, taking the lead, as Santana unconsciously rested her hands on Brittany's shoulders perfectly content to follow. This never lasted too long, however. While the beat was slower, it wasn't a slow song. All the high school boys would huddle around them and even cut in between them, but it was all part of the routine. They usually managed to get a decent amount of time to themselves before they were invaded by teen spirit.

That's when Santana would resume control and grab Brittany's wrist, tugging her towards the kitchen. Santana would always turn and walk a few steps backwards right before they got into the other room, smirking knowingly at Brittany and giving both hands a reassuring squeeze before letting go and getting them fresh drinks. Boys still followed, but they were boys and Brittany and Santana were hot and she didn't expect anything less. So, like always, she hoped up on the counter and enjoyed watching Santana get to put the boys in their place.

Brittany always felt this itch to join in, to do what Santana did, but she learned early on when they had attended their first high school parties that Brittany was not the best at drinking games. She could never remember the rules for all the card games, and she had zero aim that was required for Quarters. Santana would always smile and let her know that she's the best dancer this small town has ever known, and that she's good enough at the drinking games for both of them.

This was kinda the boring part for Brittany. She knew how much Santana loved embarrassing the boys, but after a while Brittany would pout and Santana would notice and drag her back to the dance floor without even a second guess. For as much as Brittany was a follower, she figured Santana was one as well. Only when it came to nights like these, however.

They were both buzzed from the drinks they took so Brittany wasn't sure how much time had gone by before Santana had, once again, dragged her away by the hand.

Santana seemed more urgent tonight. With one glance down the hallway to see it packed with people filing in and out of rooms, Santana immediately changed course and walked out the back door. A chill shakes Brittany's body as she's pushed against a wall on the side of the house and she can't tell if it's from the cool night air or the way the other girl makes her feel. The sense of urgency and passion Santana infused in her kiss made Brittany's legs weak and shaky. She leaned back on the wall to steady herself as Santana's arms circled her waist and held her tight. Brittany grabbed on to her shoulders, clinging to the material of Santana's shirt as she returned the pressure and tugged at Santana's lip.

Brittany moaned at the sudden feel of nails scratching up her stomach under her shirt. It was one of her weaknesses, but she knew this game, knew that Santana was considering a quickie right here. Brittany, herself, was torn with the idea but decided not to make the decision any easier for them as she broke free from Santana's lips and kissed along her jaw then down her neck.

In that moment, Santana made the decision for both of them. She pulled away, laced their fingers together, and navigates them through the party and out the front door. They don't talk, just like the other times. There's nothing really to say. It's understood that they're heading to Santana's, they've only had a couple of opportunities to go to Brittany's, and they're way too aware of the heat that is radiating off each other to even form sensible conversations. Not that they always have deep conversations. Brittany knows she can say anything to Santana and just get a thoughtful look in response before Santana explains that what Brittany said is either OK or why it was so wrong and a little crazy.

The thought made her smile. Brittany was looking up at the sky as they walked when Santana started swinging their arms exaggeratedly back and forth and smiling openly back at the blonde. This was part of the whole routine, although it was torturous. While Brittany loved being able to walk around openly happy holding hands with Santana, the way they left things at the party was visible through the blush she could see in the other girl's face which she was sure mirrored her own.

The house was easy to spot. Not only because they'd made this walk countless times but mainly because every house on the block had some kind of light on, whether it be from the living room, from someone's TV, or from the outside; every house, but Santana's. Brittany shoots her a chastising look, Santana gives a toned down eye roll back as they walk to the house and she opens the door and hold it open. She walks past Santana, gripping the railing as she heads upstairs because she's still a little hazy from the drinks at the party.

She's pretty much on autopilot as she enters Santana's room and immediately takes off her shirt as she hears the click of the door shutting and the thud of Santana leaning back against the door, admiring what she sees. Brittany liked to wait, but it was also hard to do because she felt the desire to be with Santana just as much. She turned around slowly, walking even slower towards the other girl. She makes sure to take her time once she removes Santana's shirt before eventually pulling her into a kiss that is deepened right away.

There's no rush, no worry of being interrupted or found out, it's just the two of them. Santana pushes her hips forward into Brittany's, taking a few steps before they collapse on to the bed, lips never breaking apart. They adjust themselves, pushing their bodies further, more comfortably, on the bed when Santana leans down towards the blonde's mouth. Then, without warning, Brittany flips them over, giggling at the loud laugh that escapes Santana's lips when she finds herself on her back.

The room quiets quickly as their eyes find each other and continue to adjust through the darkness and the buzz still humming in their minds. Brittany can feel the corners of her mouth still curled upwards as she looks from Santana's mesmerizing, dark eyes to every other feature on her face. She could feel Santana following her eyes as she brought her thumb up to slide across Brittany's lower lip.

That one touch sent desire through Brittany and she allowed herself to be pulled down. They're usually pretty good about keeping themselves in check, about taking their time and enjoying the nights for as long as they can, but Santana's chest arches into Brittany and her nails are scraping against her scalp and she finds she can't hold back any longer. She fumbles with Santana's jeans, but only for a moment. Before she can push her hand inside, she's being rolled over and Santana has pulled away.

The other girl remains close, inches separating them and eyes locked, as she pushes her pants off and silently urges Brittany to do the same. The instant their free of clothes, Brittany pushes back in and kisses Santana deeply as she rolls her back again. Waiting, taking her time, isn't even an option any more. It's over just as quickly as it came on. Brittany keeps herself as close to Santana as possible, breaking free from Santana's lips and moving down to her neck and breathing in the scent as she listens to their heartbeats keeping time with each other.

Brittany knows she says something, it mumbles against Santana's skin, but she's too spent, too drunk on the other girl to even know what it might have been. She knows what she wants it to be, but she still has some control over certain things. One of them she can't control is this irrational fear that kicks in that if she stays on top of her friend that she'll crush her. Gently, without breaking too much contact, Brittany shifts and pushes herself against Santana's side, keeping on arm possessively over her tanned, toned stomach while she hooks their legs together.

She feels Santana shiver slightly, but smiles and closes her eyes when she wraps her arms around Brittany and pulls her close. She's tired, exhausted now, but remains awake even with her eyes closed. Santana's hand sweeps the blonde hair off her face and Brittany can feel the gaze, the love that Santana is looking at her with. She can feel Santana fighting sleep, wanting to just hold Brittany and she knows that she needs this.

The words are so light, muffled because Santana says them into her hair, but Brittany hears them. She thinks about them, repeats them in her head as Santana's breathing evens out with sleep. Only then, when Brittany knows the other is asleep, does she blink her eyes open briefly, shifting her said slightly to leave a kiss on Santana's shoulder as she whispers back, "I love you, too."

Then, she closes her eyes and falls asleep instantly.

**xxxxx**

They've always been opposites of each other.

Brittany's blonde, Santana has very dark hair. She loves animals, Santana tolerates them. She's generally happy and tries not to be consciously mean to others, Santana doesn't understand that concept. She's a little on the dumb side, Santana is smart and even goes as far and tells Brittany that she's smart too, she just needs to work harder sometimes. One of their biggest differences, however, is that Brittany is a morning person and Santana is never fully awake unless she's brushed her teeth, showered, and grabbed an iced coffee drink.

Well, those things and morning sex.

Despite Brittany's early rising nature, whenever she and Santana fall asleep together she always closes her eyes again when she feels Santana stir, knowing that she's gonna come up with fun ways of rousing her awake. It's all part of the routine, but when Brittany opens her eyes this morning she realizes how much she dislikes this whole thing.

She pulls herself out of Santana's hold and searches through the scattered clothing before pulling on her panties and tank top and walking over to Santana's window sill. Brittany loved Santana's window. Another thing that Brittany loved and Santana hated was sitting on her window sill and watching the world move by. The view was better than Brittany's window which just showed their next door neighbor's house.

Santana's window overlooked a small park on the side of the street behind her house. Small as in very tiny. There were two benches, a few trees, and an abnormally large gazebo that they had just put up the summer before. Even though she disliked, Santana would still sit there, with Brittany between her legs and back pressed snuggly into her chest, and people watch for long stretches of time. It was something Brittany kinda figured that Santana didn't really hate, just said she did so Brittany would beg her to hold her.

This morning she sat on the ledge, hugged her legs into her body, and watched an older couple with a small, bouncy, yippy dog dancing around their feet. She smiled instantly, a reflex really, but then felt the smile slip off her face as her eyes locked on the couple's linked hands. Brittany was suddenly immersed in a memory of when Santana came up with the idea that they should link pinkies.

They were walking down the street, their hands swinging together and bumping into one another. Brittany swallowed thickly as she reached out and took the warm hand in her own. "Brittany…?" Santana trailed off, eyebrows raised up in question as she gestured down to their hands. Brittany pulled her hand back instantly and shrugged.

A deep sigh escapes Santana and she looks down at their hands, still swinging together, before she hooks her pinky with Brittany's. She looked back up and caught Santana's stare and said, "Santana-"

"This is our thing now," she began explaining, cutting Brittany off gently and with a smile. "We can't hold hands…not just walking down the street. We can do this." She holds their hands up, linked by the small fingers, and gives Brittany's a squeeze. At the time, Brittany was touched by the gesture. Now, after so much time, looking down at this couple sitting in the middle of a tiny park with their fingers laced together, all she feels is an envious rage working its way through her body.

The frustration of constantly hiding, covering up, and not being open, even with each other, flooded her thoughts and she took in a deep breath to try to calm herself. Brittany didn't have much time to dwell on her thoughts. The sounds of sheets ruffling turned her attention back to the bed where Santana's eyes were squinting and she was pushing herself up on her elbows. "Britt-" she begins, sleep still evident in her voice.

"I don't wanna do this anymore."

The words are out of her mouth before she can even think about wanting to stop them. The look on Santana's face when she tries to make sense of what she said kills Brittany a little, but it's out there and she's tired of not putting it out there and letting it fester inside. "I'm sorry…to just…" Brittany began, raking her mind for something to say to wipe that look off Santana's face but coming up with her frustration over their situation and merely repeating. "I don't wanna do this anymore."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Title:**__ Always The Same (3/3)  
__**Author:**__ Race122VE (Coll)  
__**Pairing:**__ Brittany/Santana  
__**Rating:**__ PG-13  
__**Summary:**__ One night, one morning, two points of view.  
__**Word Count:**__ Around 4300 this part.  
__**Disclaimer:**__ All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.  
__**Author's Note:**__ No spoilers. I try to remain cannon to the story line, but this doesn't really get into the club or competitions, just mentions. This is my second attempt at this pairing. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!  
__**Author's Note 2:**__ So I want to thank everyone that's read and commented so far, and also thank you for your patience while I dealt with my life and another idea and put this one on the back burner. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the end!_

**Chapter 3 – Morning**

This was different.

Things didn't happen this way.

They sat there for what seemed like forever. Brittany didn't know what else to say, didn't know where to go after she blurted the words. Santana's mouth remained open and her eyes remained locked with Brittany's yet shifted slightly as her mind raced with thoughts of what the blonde could possibly mean. Ever the pessimist, her first thought was that Brittany was just done with her completely. Santana buried that thought deep in her mind immediately, refusing to face it until she hears the actual words. So, feeling like an idiot, she just keeps staring and letting all these horrible scenarios pass through as opposed to actually breaking the silence first.

Before she can dwell more on the awful thoughts of rejection, it becomes painfully obvious that she's still naked in her bed while Brittany sits, mostly, clothed by her window. Santana feels her face grow hot and knows that she's blushing embarrassingly as she fumbles with the covers and pulls them higher up. She was already feeling emotionally exposed, she didn't want to add physically to the equation. Their gaze hasn't broken, but, thankfully, Brittany shows some mercy and becomes interested in her nails as Santana reaches off the edge of her bed and grasps her shirt before pulling it on. She doesn't even bother with her panties, just sits up with the sheets still tangled over her legs as the unbearable thoughts of what's hanging between her and Brittany return to the front and center of her head.

The silence resumes, as does Brittany staring back at Santana. Brittany knows she should be the one to say something first, she's the one that said what was said but she's never been good at making sense of what she's thinking. Even getting to the point where she said what she said took a lot of thought and impulse control. It was that filter thing again, and the fact that she was just so tired. Tired from the night before, tired of caring about what other people think, and, because of that, tired of hiding. Santana was the one person in her life that never let herself get too frustrated with her random thoughts and actually tried to help her work through her observations.

There's a sinking feeling in her stomach that's telling Brittany that Santana might not be so helpful and understanding this time.

Then, just as quickly as embarrassment crossed Santana's face, anger took over for confusion.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Santana practically shouts, her voice echoing off the walls and causing Brittany to wince. She softens at this, anger still pulsing through her body but she at least takes her voice down to a calmer, steadier tone. "B…what do you mean?"

"I don't wanna do what we've been doing," Brittany repeats, yet again. She sees Santana's frustration flaring up and rushes on to continue. "Aren't you tired of this, S? These parties…this town…?"

Santana scoffs in response.

Is she tired of it all? Of being stuck in Lima, Ohio? Tired doesn't even begin to cover how she feels. It's why she doesn't dwell on it too much, why she never brings it up and just plays the part, because the reality of everything is too much. The fact that they're just finishing sophomore year, that they still have two years in this shitty town before they can even think about realistically getting out, she'd rather play the part and live in denial than allow those thoughts to occupy her brain. It had been working out pretty well, even better since they joined Glee and could kind of be more themselves while still remaining on top, and she didn't understand why that wasn't enough for Brittany.

"Santana."

It wasn't a question, not the way Brittany said it, but it broke her away from her thoughts. It was her name, one word, with a million other meanings laced underneath it. The one that struck a chord with Santana, above all others, was pleading. Brittany got it, she understood how things worked even if no one believed that, but the desperation in her tone put out the fire that was fueling Santana's anger. Normally she knew what to say, now all she had was, "Britt."

She winces at the desperation in her own voice, mirroring Brittany's tone, and the blonde shakes her head. "I know why we do this, I do" Brittany says, suddenly, her eyes looking down to the floor. "I just don't think it's worth it anymore. I don't want to do this, S."

"What do you want?" Santana threw back, but it was soft and quiet and just the beginning of what she had to get out. "You wanna show up for the last days of school…together? Holding hands in school, after Cheerios practice, in town? You know we can't do that."

"Why not?"

Santana sighed.

"I just…" Brittany rushed on, but she didn't know what to say, didn't know what she meant or wanted. No, she wanted Santana and she wanted everything to be OK. She knew Santana was right though. They'd talked about it before, when it started becoming more frequent and less about being drunk and getting guys to pay for their food. Santana had convinced her how this was the right thing to do, but these mornings just started making her feel worse about the whole thing.

"Maybe I don't care anymore," she finally said, looking at Santana, pleading with her. "Maybe there are more important things than caring about what other people think of you."

"There is _nothing_ more important than what people think, Britt," she said immediately. "Nothing."

The words were out of Santana's mouth before she could stop them. For a second, she doesn't even realize what she said, what the words mean. Even through all that they've been through, Santana's always tried to make sure that Brittany knows how important she is to her. How she's the most important thing to Santana. This whole thing was frustrating, and when she's frustrated she loses her filter, and when she does that she says whatever she's thinking even if she doesn't really mean it.

She watched as Brittany's lower lip trembled and as her eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears. She turned away, looking out the window and bringing her hand up to cover the side of her face still visible to Santana. She closed her eyes at the sight, trying to silently wish away her words, but the broken sob that came from Brittany was too much. She angrily wiped away her own tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "You know how important you are to me and…I wish things could be different-"

"We keep doing this, too," Brittany cut in, still sobbing and still looking away from Santana. "You always say that we talked about this, but it's just you talking. Saying the same things over and over and I don't care what people think. I just want to be happy."

"Are you happy when people say you're an idiot?"

Just because she was upset that she had made Brittany cry didn't mean that her brain grew a filter. The blonde, however, rounded back at Santana with an incredulous expression across her face. Santana went on anyway, "Think of what they'll say if we're together and then think if you'll be happy then. Think of what they call Kurt, and then what they'll call us. Think of getting kicked off the Cheerios-"

"Coach would never do that-"

"Sue is the reason I slept with Finn," Santana argued, getting more and more heated with each word that comes out of her mouth. She ignored the way Brittany's face scrunched up when she mentioned Finn and said, "Imagine the wrath we'd experience if she found out we were together, which she would because someone would tell her. Once you're on the top, Britt, everyone wants to take you down."

"I don't care anymore."

"Well I do."

They both stared at each other after laying their cards out on the table.

Usually, when they got caught up in staring at each other, there was something else there. A thought that they both came upon, an idea of something to do, love and admiration for the other. This time it was just staring. Santana couldn't tell what Brittany was thinking, for the first time since she could remember. She wasn't sure if Brittany could tell when she was thinking because she didn't even really know either.

Santana just studied the giant, sexy mess of blonde hair balled messily on top of Brittany's head, the pink lips that were the softest things that she had ever felt, and the clear, bright, and endless blue of her eyes that burned back at her. It wasn't until Brittany got up that Santana finally realized what she, herself, was actually thinking.

That this was most likely the end, and that this was the last time Brittany would be in her room this way.

She expected the blonde to get dressed, gather up her things and leave without another word. The last thing she expected was for Brittany to climb on top of the bed until she was straddling Santana's lap. Her arms came up and slid around her neck, pulling Santana closer to her body. She didn't even have time to react to Brittany being this close when the blonde brought her mouth down to Santana's.

The only way she could respond, the only way her body knew how, was to run her hands up Brittany's soft thighs and reach around to grab her ass and pull her forward, eliminating all space between them. Their mouths moved together perfectly, but there was a different kind of feeling underneath it all that Santana had never experienced. It was hot, hungry, and desperate. Her mind was racing, filled half with Brittany's words still cutting through her and half with the sensation of Brittany's tongue sliding against her own as her hips slowly grind against Santana.

The length of time Brittany kisses her probably last a few minutes, but when she pulls away Santana feels like it wasn't nearly enough time. She doesn't say anything, neither does Brittany who is looking expectantly back. Then she has to watch her best friend climb off the bed, gather her clothes, and slam the door behind her.

Santana watches the door for a few seconds before she collapses back on to her bed and cries.

**xxxxx**

A week has never seemed longer in her entire life.

Each night she clung to the pillow on Brittany's side, trying to keep the scent of the blonde fresh in her mind. It was like torture, but she didn't know what else to do. Every morning she dreaded waking up and knowing that her day would be void of a bright, genuine smile and sparkling, blue eyes.

Actually, she would see the smile and Brittany's eyes, but they were directed towards someone else. Someone that wasn't Santana. The only comfort she took was that she could still see the pain behind it all. Brittany may have been able to stop talking to her altogether, but she couldn't erase years of friendship and closeness. She still knew the girl better than anyone else, and what she knew was that Brittany was in just as much pain as Santana.

It was the end of the school year, Nationals and Regionals were behind them and Santana started to realize how easy it was for Brittany to avoid her. The lack of a seating chart in their classes allowed Brittany to wedge herself between people that Santana never even knew existed, Glee Club wasn't having any more meetings, and she had somehow talked Coach into changing the Cheerio's choreography so they would barely have to look at each other.

The urge to take everything back was the only thing she could think about with each second that ticked by. Without Brittany she realized how quiet and slow the days ended up being. She can't count how many times she checks her phone and lets her finger hover above the button that would connect to Brittany's phone. She gave in, one day, and actually hit the button and pressed the phone against her ear. Her leg wouldn't stop moving up and down as her bottom lip settled between her teeth. Just as she was about to hang up the ringing stopped and the line was open.

The English language was suddenly the hardest thing to remember.

Her mouth opened and closed, stumbling silently over an apology and a pledge to give Brittany whatever she wanted as long as they could be in each other's lives again. Just when she thinks she might be able to manage the word 'Hi' the line goes dead on her.

Any progress she had made in getting over Brittany, which was close to none, gets carried away with a wordless phone call that lasted twenty seconds.

It's not until Friday, end of the week and end of the school year, when Santana decides she's going to try one more time. The news of a party spreads quickly, like all the other times; and, even though she's been extra bitchy to everyone around her, she does get an invitation. Her immediate thought is to just blow it off, to blow off the rest of her summer and just focus on trying to get Brittany out of her mind.

Then, the notion of ever erasing Brittany from her mind simply becomes ridiculous. As well as the idea of not giving Brittany what he wanted, what Santana really wanted as well. What she's always wanted but was too scared to admit out loud and without the cover of alcohol and manipulation: Brittany.

Santana blows off practice that day and goes out to the parking lot and, after spotting her target, makes her way over to where Brittany's car is parked and perches herself on the hood of the car. The familiar yet nagging urge to run away from what she is about to do is strong and relevant, but she fights it off hugging her legs to her chest as she watches the doors that Brittany is sure to come out of when her day ends.

As if she has a sixth sense, and given the blonde's nature she probably does have a knack for sensing Santana even if she is trying to sever all ties, her eyes lock on to the girl perched on her car as soon as she's out the doors an hour later. Brittany doesn't pause, doesn't stumble, she just continues to walk over. She's still staring at Santana as she waves off some random Cheerios and fishes around in her bag for her keys.

Once she's close enough, Brittany breaks eye contact and makes her way to the driver's side door. However, she makes the mistake of walking too close to the car, close enough for Santana to reach out and catch her elbow. "Wait," she says quietly and adds, "please" when she sees the sour look that crosses Brittany's face.

The please works, though. Brittany doesn't move when Santana reluctantly releases her arm. She does, however, become very interested on the ground where her shoes begin to distractedly kick some rocks around. Santana starts to speak; she doesn't want to waste any time like before like before. Doesn't want Brittany to hang up on her again and shut her out, but the problem with that is she still doesn't have a big speech prepared and can't find an eloquent way to put her thoughts and feelings into words.

The only thing she can say at the moment is, "Are you going to the party tonight?"

It takes a while for Brittany to finally look back up. She stares back with a face that shows more confusion than anger, but both are prominent on her features. They melt into curiosity when she tilts her head to the side, the blonde curls on her pony tail bouncing slightly when she asks, "Why do you care?"

"Because I'm in love with you."

The burden of getting them to the top, the guilt of using their relationship to get what they want, the pain of having only moments with Brittany and then having to lie about everything, and the devastation of losing her completely all led to Santana's wall crumbling down. She didn't mean to blurt it out so suddenly. Something as big as telling someone, Brittany, how you feel should have some build up, some meaning.

In a way, though, their whole relationship was the buildup. The instant connection when they met as kids, their inseparable nature, and their first kiss, everything that has ever happened between them led up to this moment. They've said 'I love you' before, but they've never allowed themselves to identify what kind of love that was. Until now.

Like any other time Brittany heard something she didn't understand or, in some cases, thought she heard wrong, her face became a blank slate. It was unreadable for a long time, but after telling her how she felt, the moments were agonizing. She didn't look away, her body didn't flinch, and it was like Brittany was a statue as her mind processed the words, the meaning, of what Santana had just said.

"I already knew that," Brittany responds, finally, her tone almost chastising Santana for not saying the right thing.

Santana hides the disappointment she begins to feel, trying not to indulge in any more fantasies of Brittany jumping into her arms until this thing between them is cleared up. It takes her a beat to figure out what to say next. Whatever the outcome may be, she knows that this exchange is probably the most critical conversation she will ever have.

"Are you in love with me?"

The blonde rolls her eyes. Santana pauses to appreciate the effectiveness of Brittany's eye roll before her heart begins to thump louder and faster in her chest as she watches the girl's head nod once. It takes every muscle in her body to hold Santana back and continue to treat this as delicately as possible. "Then we should go to the party together," she suggests as casually as she can sound before the words come out of her as if someone lifted the flood gate wide open. "Like, _together_ together. Cause…even though I'm an idiot that believed what people thought about me was the most important thing, I was wrong. Nothing is more important than you, B…and I'm sorry that it took a week without you to realize that."

Another small span of time stretches by, feeling like an eternity as Brittany, once again, takes in the information she's being given. Santana tries not to let her nerves get to her, but her leg begins to jump as she waits for Brittany to react. Somehow, the movement gets a smile from Brittany as she takes a step closer. "This is killing you, isn't it?" Brittany asked, trying to unsuccessfully hold back her laughter.

"And I can see you're enjoying my internal pain and suffering," Santana joked back as a calm coursed through her body with the sudden and easy back and forth. "Look…things don't have to move fast or…we don't have to…right away…I just don't want to spend another week like this…and…"

She's rambling, it's what happens when her guard is down and she's talking about things that she's never really talked about before. Brittany takes another step forward, though, and then another and another until she is pressed up against Santana's legs. The words trail off and her grip on her legs slip as Brittany continues to press herself as close to Santana as possible.

Brittany's fingertips are now resting on Santana's bare knees and slowly moving up her legs as they shift around the blonde's body sandwiched in between them. Her own hands move towards Brittany's hips, hesitating briefly before resting there and feeling the small part of exposed skin. The closeness cut off Santana, but she remained steely and not entirely convinced that everything could just snap back into place and evolve into something better.

Still, she couldn't ignore how amazing it felt to have Brittany invading her personal space again. Her hands were now holding the blonde close on the small of her back as Brittany leaned her head down, lips hovering inches away from Santana's. For a split second, she thinks she should look around to see if anyone is watching, but it disappears as soon as her eyes shift from Brittany's mouth to her eyes.

After all this time, after countless hours lost just staring into Brittany's eyes, they still leave her breathless. They're open and inviting and, at the moment, cutting to the core of both of them standing in the middle of the parking lot and holding each other in a way that they should be scared of but are not.

"Are you still scared?" Brittany whispers.

Because she's so close and that's affecting her ability to do anything except hold her there, Santana nods and the corners of Brittany's mouth curl upwards. "Me too," she admits immediately. Her hands shift, moving to Santana's arms and slowly working up to rest on her shoulders. Brittany moves her face closer, almost touching Santana's lips before pulling back again but not as far as before.

"It's not going to be easy, is it?"

Something about the way Brittany asks the question snaps Santana back to reality and out of Brittany's spell. If she had to guess, it was the small hint of fear behind Brittany's seemingly confident tone. When Santana sensed fear from her, the need to protect Brittany overtook any other feeling in her body. "No," she said quietly, honestly. "But we'll have each other. I'm not going anywhere."

Santana had almost forgotten how close they actually were until Brittany closed the gap between them, surprising Santana with a deep, hard kiss. Brittany does all the work for a few seconds while Santana takes in the sudden onslaught of everything about Brittany back in her life, in between her legs, pressed flush against her body, and kissing her like it's been years instead of a week.

It's all a little sloppy and uncoordinated once her brain begins to work and she involves herself in the kiss, but soon enough Santana reaches a familiar rhythm with Brittany and she can't imagine how she was crazy enough to think that she could ever have a life without this girl.

They pull away, both breathless and flush, but still remain close with an unspoken agreement that neither wants to be far away from the other right now. Being that close, and together, Santana can't help but smile brightly and say, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Brittany replies instantly, sporting a smile that matches Santana's. "But I think we should skip the party."

Brittany's finger traces a line down the front of Santana's chest as her other hand slides to the back of her neck and plays with the collar of her uniform. The intent behind the words, the promise of reconnecting and just being with each other is tempting, but Santana shakes her head.

While she stumbled over her words and didn't really have an idea how this would turn out, the one thing Santana knew was that she had a plan should Brittany accept her apology. They were going to that party tonight, and they were going together.

**xxxxx**

They stood outside of the house, fingers intertwined with a vice like grip as they watched a few people enter the house, some hanging out on the porch and throwing curious gazes their way; but Santana looked over at Brittany who had been watching her and smiled. As much as she wanted to take Brittany and lock her away in her bedroom for the weekend, this was important. She had to show the blonde, and the people attending the party, that things were different now.

"You know we really don't have to do this," Brittany said quietly, turning her attention back to the house when the music began to suddenly boom loudly. "I know you're serious about…being serious. Not to mention I kind of want to rip all your clothes off and have my way with you."

"Who said you're going to have your way with me?" Santana teased back, eyes still glued to Brittany's face. "We'll just stay for a little bit, just like the other times. Besides, everyone's going to have to get used to this change.

"Also, I like dancing with you. You're hot when you dance."

"I am, aren't I?"

The lightness they're exuding calms the nagging fear of being judged as they walk forward together. The party ends up being uneventful. Jocks end up making comments, but Santana gives them the finger or tips their beer over on to the moron who spoke. All the other Cheerios just flat out stare at them, but then pretend like they're not the second Brittany or Santana notice. It's kind of the same, they have a drink, they dance, but there's a point when they're dancing and Brittany can't take it anymore and drags them out of the party.

They're walking back to Santana's, hands swinging back and forth and smiles plastered on their faces. Both are fine with not saying anything, but Santana can't help the "I love you" that slips from her mouth as she looks over to see Brittany mesmerized by the stars as they walk. Brittany says it back right away and, from then on, that's how nights like that happened. The same way, every time, always the same.


End file.
